Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
