How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!