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Dad Jokes

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    Choose the funniest answer using the Anyone Can Answer game option
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  • Dad, did you get a haircut?
    No, I got them all cut!
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  • Why don't eggs tell jokes?
    They'd crack each other up.
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  • What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
    Nobody knows.
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  • Did you hear the rumor about butter?
    Well, I'm not going to spread it!
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  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
    It was two tired.
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  • Dad, can you put my shoes on?
    No, I don't think they'll fit me.
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  • Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot.
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  • This graveyard looks overcrowded.
    People must be dying to get in.
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  • Dad, can you put the cat out?
    I didn't know it was on fire.
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  • What time did the man go to the dentist?
    Tooth hurty.
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  • What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
    Sneakers!
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  • How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together.
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  • I'm on a seafood diet.
    I see food and I eat it.
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  • I made a pencil with two erasers.
    It was pointless.
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  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
    It's impossible to put down!
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  • Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
    He won the 'no-bell' prize.
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  • I used to hate facial hair...
    But then it grew on me.
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  • I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
    It was just gathering dust!
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  • What's brown and sticky?
    A stick.
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  • What did the coffee report to the police?
    A mugging.
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  • Is this pool safe for diving?
    It deep ends.
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  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
    Great food, no atmosphere!
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  • How many apples grow on a tree?
    All of them!
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  • Why did the old man fall in the well?
    Because he couldn't see that well!
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