What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
cauliflowers
What did the hamburger buy his sweetheart?
An onion ring.
Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.
What did the calculator say to the pencil?
You can count on me.
What did the lightbulb say to his Valentine?
I love you watts and watts.
What did the farmer give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and kisses.
What do you call a very small Valentine?
A valen-tiny.
Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable?
They have hearts.
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.
What did the octopus say to his valentine?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
What flowers are kissable?
Tulips
What did the cat say to his Valentine?
You're purr-fect for me.
What did the owl say to his Valentine?
Owl be yours
Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Who always has a date on Valentine's day?
A calendar.
What did the squirrel say to his Valentine?
I'm nuts about you.
What did one honey bee say to the other honey bee?
I love bee-ing with you.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet hearts.
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.
What did the bat say to his Valentine?
You are fun to hang around with.
What do you call a ghosts true love?
A ghoul friend.
What did one sheep say to the other sheep?
I love ewe.