What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back for seconds.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
What did the duck say when she bought new lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
Why are spiders so smart?
They can find everything on the web.
Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.
What vegetable is kind to everyone?
A sweet potato
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers.
How do celebrities say cool?
They have many fans.
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other?
Cool Ranch
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
They have the best batter.
What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog
What does a house wear?
Address
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
What is the most musical bone?
A trombone
What was the reported doing at the ice cream shop?
Getting the scoop
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
How can you tell it's a dogwood tree?
By the bark
What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho cheese