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Jokes on jokes on jokes

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  • When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
    I was shocked!
  • What do you call a dauntless baker?
    A whisk-taker
  • What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
    A synonym roll
  • What is a plumber's favorite shoes?
    Clogs
  • Why are frogs always so happy?
    Because they just eat whatever bugs them.
  • Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
    Because they lac-toes.....come on, that was legendairy.
  • What is a golf club's favorite type of music?
    Swing
  • A Spanish-speaking magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno!......Dos!!!"
    The poof! He was gone without a tres.
  • Say, Ernie, would you like some ice cream?
    Sure Burt!
  • 2 fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says...
    "How do you drive this thing?!"
  • I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home...
    all the signs were there.
  • Whiteboards....
    They are remarkable
  • You can't run through a campground...
    You can only ran because it's past tents
  • Is your refrigerator running?
    Good, mine too! I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!
  • Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
    Because it ran out of juice!
  • Why was the mama firefly unhappy?
    Because her kids weren't very bright.
  • If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns...
    go for the juggler.
  • Why do cows wear bells?
    Because their horns don't work
  • At an ATM, this lady asked me to help her check her balance.
    So I pushed her over.
  • What kind of music scares balloons?
    Pop music.
  • A man got hit in the head with a can of coke...
    but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
  • Have you hear the rumor about butter?
    Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.
  • This was a terrible day. First, my ex got hit by a bus.
    Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
  • What goes "ooo, oooooo, oooo?"
    A cow with no lips.
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur?
    A doyouthinkhesaurus?
  • What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
    A pouch potato
  • One tectonic plate bumped into another and said...
    "Sorry, my fault."
  • What did one orphan say to the other?
    "Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
  • I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup...
    and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
  • My friend David lost his ID.
    Now we just call him Dave.
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