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Book discussion

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  • When did you first notice that something between them started to change?
  • At what moment do they finally reconnect emotionally?
  • Who are Autumn and Finny, and how did they know each other as children?
  • If Autumn had acted differently, how might the story have changed?
  • What was their relationship like before high school?
  • Why do you think neither of them confessed their feelings earlier?
  • What kind of relationship did Autumn have with Jamie?
  • How did their social lives change in high school?
  • Did Autumn truly move on from Finny? Explain.
  • How does Autumn react when she finds out?
  • Do you think their story was about fate or poor decisions?
  • Do you think Autumn was emotionally honest with herself? Why or why not?
  • What role did miscommunication play in their story?
  • How did Autumn feel about Finny’s popularity?
  • Why did they start drifting apart?
  • Why is the title “If He Had Been With Me” important?
  • What is the main message of the book?
  • Was the tragedy avoidable?
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