Why can't a bike stand up by itself?
Because it is two-tired
What happened when the frog left his car in a "No Parking Zone'?
It got toad
Why do dogs run in circles?
It is too hard to run in squares
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing
What covered the yellow brick road with snow?
The blizzard of Oz
Why did the french fry lose the race?
It couldn't ketchup
What do you call person who designs dog houses?
A bark-itect
Why was the broom late?
Because it over swept
What instrument to skeletons like to play?
Trom-bone
What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot?
A bird that will talk your ear off
When is a yellow book not a yellow book?
When it is read (red)
What cleans the floor then comes back to you?
A broom-erang
Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor?
He was feeling Jura-sick
What is a frogs favorite drink?
Croak-a Cola
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's girlfriend drive.
A Minnie-van
What do you call a pirate hanging on the wall?
ARRRT
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby
What kind of horse only goes out at night?
A night-mare
How do you count a herd of cattle?
With a cow-culator
Where do dogs drive their cars.
The barking lot
What do bad guys eat for dessert?
Crookies
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Why did the snowman go to the grocery store?
He wanted to pick his nose
What sickness to old dogs get?
Arf-ritis