You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?
The match.
I add lots of flavor and have many layers, but if you get to close I'll make you cry. What am I?
An onion.
I have keys, but no locks and space, and no rooms. You can enter, but you can't go outside. What am I?
A keyboard.
What month of the year has 28 days?
All of them.
Re-arrange the letters, O O U S W T D N E J R, to spell just one word. What is it?
'Just one word'.
First, think of the color of the clouds. Next, think of the color of snow. Now, think of the color of a bright full moon. Now answer quickly what do cows drink?
water
What has legs, but doesn't walk?
A table.
A woman shoots her husband, then holds him underwater for five minutes. Next, she hangs him. Right after, they enjoy a lovely dinner. Explain.
She took a picture of him and developed it in her dark room.
A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
The man was bald.
What kind of band never plays music?
A rubber band.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
A promise.
What can you keep after giving to someone?
Your word.
I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
fire
Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?
There are nine Mustards in the family. Since each daughter shares the same brother, there are six girls, one boy and Mr. and Mrs. Mustard.
Which is heavier: a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
Neither, they both weigh the same.
A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so
The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote "your exact weight" on the paper.
Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
Your breath.
You see me once in June, twice in November, but not at all in May. What am I?
The letter e.
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!
What room do ghosts avoid?
The living room.
I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?
A map.
If you’re running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
Second place.
A is the brother of B. B is the brother of C. C is the father of D. So how is D related to A?
A is D's aunt.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
How is seven different from the rest of the numbers between one and ten?
Seven has two syllables and the other numbers only have one syllable.
I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I?
A barber.
I make two people out of one. What am I?
A mirror.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
footsteps
My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick. Fat, I am slow. Wind is my foe. What am I?
I am a candle.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All the people on the boat are married.
I have many teeth, but I cannot bite. What am I?
A comb.