Badly Described Jobs

I spend my day staring into the clouds, hoping I didn't misread the control panel and go the wrong direction.

I give drugs to anyone who comes to see me.

I spend my day surrounded by shelves full of murdered trees and my favourite activity is telling people to be quiet.

I spend most of my day with my hands in people's mouths, hoping I don't get bitten.

I spend my day hanging out with other people's children, telling them what to believe and how to behave.

I spend all day being told where to go by random people I'll never see again.

I decide who's right and who's wrong and sometimes let the bad guys win, if they give me enough money

I spend my day nodding and writing notes while people tell me how much worse their life is to mine.

I run around all day feeding the hungry and if I'm lucky they might compensate me extra for it.

I scream and make noises at people for their enjoyment.

I spend my day fighting other people's battles for them even though half the time they have probably lied to me about the truth.

I make major decisions for an entire population even though a lot of them disagree with me and think I'm ruining their lives.

I spend my day writing random stuff online which no one really cares about unless they are just as bored as I am.

I poke, prod and pull on people's limbs all day.

I tell people what to do with their money and they ignore me and buy stupid stuff anyway.

I spend an hour every evening telling anyone who will listen how terrible the world is.