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One thing about you

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  • If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
    The four you took
  • A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?
    Because he was not driving! He’s walking on the sidewalk.
  • What never asks a question but gets answered all the time?
    the phone
  • What goes up and down, but always remains in the same place?
    Stairs
  • What will you actually find at the end of every rainbow?
    The letter "w"
  • A woman pushes her car to a hotel and then proceeds to tell the owner that she is bankrupt. Why?
    She is playing Monopoly.
  • A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?
    His horse is named Friday
  • How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
    She sleeps at nights
  • Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain on Earth?
    Mount Everest
  • How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
    Once. Next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
  • What goes up but never ever comes down?
    your age
  • What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
    A widow
  • What is always coming but never arrives?
    Tomorrow
  • What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
    Normal, because people usually have half their fingers on one hand.
  • How do you make the number one disappear?
    Add a ‘G’ and it’s gone!
  • What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
    A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
  • If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
    Survivors aren’t buried!
  • Uncle Bill’s farm had a terrible storm and all but seven sheep were killed. How many sheep are still alive?
    seven
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