How do you get straight A's?
Use a ruler!
Why did the kid study in the airplane?
He wanted a higher education!
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals
What did the pen say to the pencil?
What's your point?!
What vegetables do librarians like?
Quiet peas!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What's better than a talking dinosaur?
A spelling bee!
Which hand is it better to write with?
Neither, you should use a pencil!
What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back to her!
What is the difference between a teacher and a cashier?
One tills the mind and the other minds the till.
What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon
What is snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?
It always went back four seconds!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of school!
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool?
She wanted to test the water!
Why was the science teacher angry?
He was a mad scientist!
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What's the king of the classroom?
The ruler!
What do you call a pirate that skips class?
Captain Hooky!
What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
What was the math teachers favorite dessert?
Pi
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Bookworms!
Why didn't the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten!