What goes up and down the stairs without moving?
A carpet
What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella
When I’m ripe, I’m green, when you eat me, I’m red, and when you spit me out, I’m black. What am I?
A watermelon
If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 8 in the other, what would I have?
Very big hands.
Why did the man pour veggies all over the world?
He wanted peas on Earth.
What is the worst vegetable to have on a boat?
A leek
What begins with T, finishes with T, and has T in it?
A teapot
What question can you never say ‘yes’ to?
"Are you asleep?"
What type of cheese is made backwards?
Edam
I’m a bird, a person, and a fruit. What am I?
A Kiwi
How can you make the number one disappear?
Add the letter ‘G’. It becomes ‘gone’.
If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what is 4 (four) and 5?
Nine.
How many eggs would a rooster lay over three weeks, provided it is adequately fed and housed?
Zero. Roosters do not lay eggs.
Why did the candle fall in love?
He met the perfect match.
What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble
What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.