Who gets the most excited about the New Year's Eve countdown?
Calendar companies.
What New Year's resolution should a basketball player never make?
To travel more.
Why do birds fly south for New Year's Eve?
It's too far to walk.
What does a caterpillar do on Jan. 1?
Turns over a new leaf.
Why do you need a jeweler on New Year's Eve?
To ring in the new year.
What should you never eat on New Year's Eve?
Firecrackers.
Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year's Eve?
Because 9, 8, 7....
What do cows celebrate on December 31st?
Moo Years Eve.
What's the easiest way to keep your New Year's resolution to read more?
Watch TV with subtitles.
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year's Eve?
He got 12 months!
What is a corn's favorite holiday?
New Ear's Day.
What did the cheerleaders say on New Year's Day?
"Happy New Cheer!"
Where can you go to practice math on New Year's Eve?
Times Square.
What happened when an iPhone and a firework were arrested on NYE?
One was charged and the other was let off.
What does a Ghost say on January 1st?
Happy BOO year!
Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the new year in a cool way.
What did the farmer give his wife on New Year's Eve?
Hogs and kisses.