When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
Why did they let the turkey join the Thanksgiving band?
Because he had the drum sticks.
What smells the best every Thanksgiving?
Your nose!
What sound does a limping turkey make?
“Wobble, wobble!”
What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing, Wing”
If the turkey says "gobble, gobble, gobble," and a peach says "cobbler, cobbler, cobbler," what would a computer say?
"Google, Google, Google."
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The Butter Ball.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
What is the favorite sport of pumpkins and gourds?
Squash.
What is hard, oddly shaped, and brings you good fortune on Thanksgiving?
A wishbone.
Most people eat me, and that is no surprise. I taste great as chips, mashed, and also fries. What am I?
A potato.
This key has legs, but can’t open a door. What is it?
A turKEY!
At Thanksgiving dinner, which hand should you butter your roll with?
Neither - you should use a knife.
Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?
Yes, because ostriches don’t fly.
If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, how do you feel on Thanksgiving?
Stuffed!