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Turkey Day Jokes

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  • When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
    In the dictionary.
  • At Thanksgiving dinner, which hand should you butter your roll with?
    Neither - you should use a knife.
  • Why did the turkey cross the road?
    To prove he wasn't chicken.
  • If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, how do you feel on Thanksgiving?
    Stuffed!
  • What is the favorite sport of pumpkins and gourds?
    Squash.
  • Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?
    Yes, because ostriches don’t fly.
  • What sound does a limping turkey make?
    “Wobble, wobble!”
  • Where do turkeys go to dance?
    The Butter Ball.
  • This key has legs, but can’t open a door. What is it?
    A turKEY!
  • What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
    “Wing, Wing”
  • What is hard, oddly shaped, and brings you good fortune on Thanksgiving?
    A wishbone.
  • What are unhappy cranberries called?
    Blueberries.
  • If the turkey says "gobble, gobble, gobble," and a peach says "cobbler, cobbler, cobbler," what would a computer say?
    "Google, Google, Google."
  • Why did they let the turkey join the Thanksgiving band?
    Because he had the drum sticks.
  • What smells the best every Thanksgiving?
    Your nose!
  • Most people eat me, and that is no surprise. I taste great as chips, mashed, and also fries. What am I?
    A potato.