When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
What sound does a limping turkey make?
“Wobble, wobble!”
This key has legs, but can’t open a door. What is it?
A turKEY!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
At Thanksgiving dinner, which hand should you butter your roll with?
Neither - you should use a knife.
Most people eat me, and that is no surprise. I taste great as chips, mashed, and also fries. What am I?
A potato.
Why did they let the turkey join the Thanksgiving band?
Because he had the drum sticks.
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The Butter Ball.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
“Wing, Wing”
Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?
Yes, because ostriches don’t fly.
What smells the best every Thanksgiving?
Your nose!
If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas, how do you feel on Thanksgiving?
Stuffed!
What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries.
If the turkey says "gobble, gobble, gobble," and a peach says "cobbler, cobbler, cobbler," what would a computer say?
"Google, Google, Google."
What is the favorite sport of pumpkins and gourds?
Squash.
What is hard, oddly shaped, and brings you good fortune on Thanksgiving?
A wishbone.