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Dad Jokes
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I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
Oops!
Okay!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Oops!
Okay!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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Okay!
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
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Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
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What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
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Dad, can you put the cat out?
I didn't know it was on fire.
Oops!
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I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Oops!
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Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
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How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the 'no-bell' prize.
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What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
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Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
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I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
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I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Oops!
Okay!
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