Why didn't the vampire have any friends?
Because he was a pain in the neck
Why did the vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?
He was caught drinking on the job
What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet
What can't you give a headless horseman?
A headache
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady
What's worse than being a five-ton witch?
Being her broom
What room is useless for ghosts?
The Living Room!
What was the witch's favourite subject in school?
Spell-ing!
What animal is best at baseball?
A bat
What's a monster's favourite bean?
A human bean (being)
Why don't skeletons like dancing?
Because they have no body to dance with.
A symbol of death, that no body owns, no heart have I, nor flesh on my bones. What am I?
A skeleton
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch!
What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem
In the Halloween dark when gone is the sun, I'll light your way when carved as a lantern. What am I?
A pumpkin
What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
The neck
Often used by witches to cast their spell, a slimy creature am I, and ugly as well. What am I?
A toad
Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat hat?
Because there was no point to it.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist
What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
His dentist!
What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A mop
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships
What Jack has a head but no lantern?
Jack-o-lantern