I am always hungry, I must always be fed, but if you give me water, I die.
A fire
I’m tall when I’m young and short when I’m old.
A candle
I have a neck but no head, and I wear a cap.
A bottle
You answer me, but I never ask you questions. What am I?
A phone
Which word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary?
“Incorrectly.”
I’m black when you buy me, red when you use me, and grey when you throw me away.
Charcoal
I’m always last at the table but never eat.
The bill (the check)
The more you take, the more you leave behind.
Footsteps
Mr Blue lives in a blue house, Mrs Pink in a pink house. Who lives in the White House?
The president
I go through cities and fields, but I never move.
A road (or a railway line)
Why is the number six afraid?
Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
I have a bed but never sleep; I have a mouth but never eat.
A river
What do you call a witch at the beach?
A sandwich.
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed three days and left on Friday. How?
His horse is named Friday.
The more there is, the less you see.
Fog (or darkness)
I speak all languages without a mouth.
An echo
I run, yet I have no legs. You need me, but I don’t need you.
Water
Why don't sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
I can travel around the world while staying in one corner.
A stamp
I touch your face, but you can’t touch me. I’m not alive.
Wind
I’m easy to lift but hard to throw.
A feather
This vehicle is spelled the same from the front as well as from the back. What is it?
Racecar
A man is found dead in a field with an unopened package. There are no footprints around him. What happened?
He was skydiving; the parachute (package) didn’t open.
I follow you all day but sleep at night.
Your shadow
You see me once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years.
The letter “m”
The more you take from me, the bigger I get.
A hole
A taxi driver goes the wrong way on a one-way street. He passes the police, but they don’t stop him. Why not?
He’s walking
I am full of holes but I can hold water.
A sponge
I have one head, one foot, and four legs.
A bed
I am always in front of you but you can never see me.
The future
I fly without wings and I cry without eyes.
A cloud