If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some kindling wood, and a newspaper, which would you light first?
The match
What is always coming but never arrives?
Tomorrow
What never asks a question but gets answered all the time?
Your cellphone
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
No, but since he is dead it would be hard to do so.
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal. Because he doesn't have ALL (ten) fingers on one hand.
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors aren’t buried! 😱
What are two things you can never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner
What can one catch that is not thrown?
A cold
You can break me, but I’m not a thing. What am I?
A promise
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add a ‘G’ and it’s gone!
What’s greater than God and more evil than the devil. Rich people want it, poor people have it. And if you eat it, you’ll die?
Nothing
What goes up but never ever comes down?
Your age
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?
His horse is named Friday
You spot a boat full of people but there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
Everyone on board is married
A girl fell off a 50-foot ladder but didn’t get hurt. How come?
She fell off the bottom step
If you spell “sit in the tub” s-o-a-k, and you spell “a funny story” j-o-k-e, how do you spell “the white of an egg”?
E-G-G W-H-I-T-E
What two keys can’t open any door?
A monkey and a donkey
How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
She sleeps at night
What is it that lives if it is fed, and dies if you give it a drink?
Fire 🔥
If it takes eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men?
No time, because the wall is already built 😜
If you have one, you want to share it. But once you share it, you do not have it. What is it?
A secret
What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
Incorrectly
If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The four you took
What starts with “e” and ends with “e” but only has one letter in it?
An envelope
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel