Funny resolutions

"I will try my best to resist the temptation to seduce any more Roman generals this year. Maybe I will focus on my own empire."

" I will focus on painting instead of world domination. Perhaps consider a career as an artist to bring more joy to the world."

: "I will have more fun this year! I'll turn every serious moment into a funny one. Less people will die in my plays. I'll treat life like it's a big stage, and I'll be the comedian in the play. So, my goal for the next year is to laugh a l

"I'll aim for world domination with more diplomacy and take smaller steps instead of conquering everything and murdering the local inhabitants."

"I will conquer Rome, but this time I won’t take any African animals with me. I will provide my soldiers warmer clothes and proper climbing epuipment."

"I will take up a new hobby that doesn't involve conquering nations - maybe knitting, gardening or travelling. But I will definitely avoid Augsburg."

"I will invest more time in map-reading skills and triple-checking my GPS coordinates. No more accidental trips to unknown territories!"

"I will stop delaying things and will lead my people to the promised land. No more wandering aimlessly!"

"I will steal from the rich and give to the poor... and finally invest in some archery lessons – can't have the Merry Men outshooting me!"

"Finally I will finish 'The Silmarillion.' Also, resist the urge to turn every stroll into a quest for a magical ring."

"This year, I swear to avoid any theaters, just to be on the safe side. I'll stick to Netflix and chill, and I will grow a magnificent beard."

"I will take a lot more warm clothes next time I want to visit Moscow."

"Moonwalk my way into a new fitness routine – thriller dance workouts every day to stay in shape!"

"In the interest of my own safety, I will be a little more cautious about unexpected gatherings of senators.”

"I will give my speeches a comedic twist – a funny remark in every speech to lighten the mood during tough times. I will drink less alcohol and smoke less cigars.”

"I will limit my marriages to just one this year and refrain from any more beheadings. After all, who needs that much drama in their life?"

"I will build an even bigger pyramid, but this time with a built-in water slide – because even ancient rulers need to have some fun in the afterlife!"