Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, You can have turkey like everyone else.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
What sort of insects like snow?
Mo-ski-toes.
Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it's Decemberrrrrrrrr.
What is the difference between the ordinary alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (Noel).
What do elves learn at school?
The elfabet.
What is read and White and goes up and down?
Santa Claus stuck in an elevator.
Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them.
What do you say to Father Christmas when he takes the register at school?
Present!
What did Adam say to Eve on 24th December?
It's Christmas, Eve.
What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells.