A man got hit in the head with a can of coke...
but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns...
go for the juggler.
Why was the computer cold?
It left its windows open
Why was the mama firefly unhappy?
Because her kids weren't very bright.
Why are frogs always so happy?
Because they just eat whatever bugs them.
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll
You can't run through a campground...
You can only ran because it's past tents
At an ATM, this lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
what is a cows favorite holiday?
moo-years eve
I have a back and legs but don't have hair
you sit on me which makes me a .......
What was the math teachers favorite desert
Pi
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
I was shocked!
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales
What kind of music scares balloons?
Pop music.
What is a golf club's favorite type of music?
Swing
What is a plumber's favorite shoes?
Clogs