I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
What fruit can you never cheer up?
A blueberry
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
Who is the best kung fu vegtable?
Brocc Lee
Why should you never trust the stairs?
They are always UP to something
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!