What fruit can you never cheer up?
A blueberry
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the 'no-bell' prize.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Why should you never trust the stairs?
They are always UP to something
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was just gathering dust!
Who is the best kung fu vegtable?
Brocc Lee
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!