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Samoa's like a butterfly whose wings have been removed.
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This shooting star's Laotian.
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Poland would look like a square if it invaded to the south.
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Italy's a boot, and so is Papua New Guinea.
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(singing fast)
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Chad looks like Jay Leno.
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Despite a square's efficiency. The Germans don't come close.
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Turkmenistan looks like something or another.
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As is elephant head shaped Thailand.
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There's Ukraine, Venezuela, Eritrea, Cyprus, and Kosovoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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Haiti, Croatia, and Zambia all have shapes that wrap around.
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No, no, no, no.
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Cuba's very long and thin.
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YOU THINK EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE A WIZARD!!!!!
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Mauritainia's an L.
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If you have a lot of coastline, then your sides will NOT be straight.
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And Malawi's like a seahorse.
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The Vatican?
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Guatemala has 2 square-ish sides in this bit in the north, but it WON'T meet our criteria 'cause it needs a third and fourth.
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But we're only counting countries and STATES DON'T COUNT!
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Now the only countries left are ones whose squareness are the best.
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The nation of the Pharoahs!
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Mm.
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Both the USA and Canada have squares in LARGE amounts.
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And Australia's a Catdog.
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Malaysia.
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So the squareness of the Philippines, Greece, and Ireland won't be great.
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But add Ecuador and Bahrain and it's massively improved!
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Chile's very, very, very, very, very, very thin.
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Guinea Bissau's a weathered rock.
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Azerbaijan looks like a bird that's been run over by a truck.
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Nicaragua would look square if you viewed it in 3D.
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mmmmmmmmm...no.
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So the winner of our contest, fitting all our tight prescriptions!
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North Macedonia?
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Mongolia looks like a bat.
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Brazil is too triangular.
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The Dominican Republic that just tapers to the east.
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Uzbekistan as well.
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The UK looks like an old witch sitting sideways on a pig.
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Sri Lanka's like a raindrop.
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India's a diamond.
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They're not square and nor are Denmark, Finland, China, or Iran.
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No, it's more a stair.
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Comoros would if it were glued.
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Burkina Faso is irregular. 4-sided it is not.
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Belize has 1 edge here that's straight, but this bit's rather lumpy.
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And Somalia's a sock.
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Madagascar looks quite lean.
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Is Morocco square?
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mmmmmmmmmm...no.
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Doesn't pass the test.
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Portugal?
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Guyana's like a ghost.
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Jamaica, Malta, and Niger are creatures from the ocean.
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The land of Cleopatra!
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And Nigeria comes close, although it bulges down below.
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Hmm.
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Too thin, too tall.
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Moldova? Guinea?
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The country where the Sphinx is!
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Equatorial Guinea's very square, but, unfortunately...since its capital's on an island, then the squarest it can't be.
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There are loads of island nations that are mostly empty sea...
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And Yemen's more a rectangle.
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Ghana.
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Not in Oman or the UAE.
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Not square, alas.
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And Iberia would pass, but Spain alone's not square enough.
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Kiribati?
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San Mari-no!
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(inhale)
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South Africa's too wobbly.
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Eswatini couldn't be rounder.
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Tajikistan's quite funky.
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That doesn't rhyme.
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Tunisia and Albania look like each other.
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🙁Yes. I think it's important.
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If your country's made of islands, then a square you'll never be.
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Kyrgyzstan's a bird in flight.
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Libya is nearly square, it's more a parallelogram.
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Syria's just a bit too slopey and El Salvador's too long.
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Ethiopia and Switzerland look like potato wedges.
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No!
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And Nauru's nearly a CIRCLE!
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Botswana's like a Flounder.
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Kuwait looks like a little thumb.
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But there must be one SOMEWHERE...
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Some parts of Tuvalu look rude.
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And Slovenia's a splot.
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The CER, so near, so far.
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The Gambia, Vietnam, and Panama all look like snakes.
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Too much on a slant
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Luxembourgers are all squares, which their borders don't reflect.
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Here are all the blobby countries in a quick compiled list...(inhale)
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Russia's nothing like a square.
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And Côte d'lvoire and Suriname do well in our exam.
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And both Koreas are short and squat.
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If you know which ones are coming, we're incredibly impressed!
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Georgia
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Uganda cannot be a square because of all the lakes.
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The "Vatican't".
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Not square at all.
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Greenland's not a real country - even though it's really big.
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There's Afghanistan, Namibia, the DRC's got 2.
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So to make things more efficient, as I'm sure you've got the gist.
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Mali starts off strongly, but right HERE it goes to pot.
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And Peru is like a resting dog.
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Too long.
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If Bolivia expanded, then a square it just might be!
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Too long-as far as I'm aware.
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The Congo's kind of foxy.
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Timor Leste?
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Little Montenegro's square if you rotate it some degrees.
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Bulgaria's too nobbly.
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Little Monaco, so tiny, you can see the piers within.
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There's no square in Indonesia's 18,000 tiny islands.
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It's the squarest of the squarest!
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The angles in Angola mean it's nearly good to go!
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Norway, Sweden and New Zealand all have FAR too crinkly edges.
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uhhhhhh...Bangladesh looks like a "wizard".
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No. They're both FAR too skinny.
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Slovakia
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The Netherlands is flat, although its edges do not fit. And the following are countries with a sticky-outy bit.
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Little Lichtenstein and the Argentines are not square in the least.
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Algeria and Kenya are pentagons.
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France is famously a HEXAGON, that fact is quite well-known - but i'ts not the only one, it's joined by Sierra Leone.
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Burundi looks quite like a heart.
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Little Rwanda?
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Little Paraguay's no paradigm.
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Yes, I can see.
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South Sudan has left behind a very square North Sudanese.
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Liberia?
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Senegal?
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OK. Malaysia is not a square.
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Mozambique has got too many sides.
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Colombia's kind of square-ish though its borders are quite rough.
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Kazakhstan looks like a turtle with a leaf stuck in its mouth.
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What about these little countries, Costa Rica, Lebanon?
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Are we seriously gonna go through EVERY COUNTRY?!
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(inhale)
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DOESN'T STAND A HOPE IN- (bleep) (i got cut off):(
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There's no square in Singapore, Brunei, Mauritius, or Gabon.
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Nor does Israel.
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It's the land of the Egyptians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Too round.
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Bangladesh
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San Marino?
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While Iraq and Jordan's lines are straight, the angles just aren't right!
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Myanmar's like a genie and not even SLIGHTLY boxy.
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And Japan we must REJECT.
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Palau looks like a jellyfish.
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Honduras is too bumpy.
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This monkey is Armenian.
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Qatar looks like a bean.
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What about these landlocked countries, like Nepal or South Sudan?
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Listing every country by its shape is not an easy job when inevitably loads of them look only like a blob.
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Leshotho's sort of square-ish, but the angles on the wonk.
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The Saudis?
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Turkey is too rectangular.
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(SINGS FASTER)
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What about Benin and Togo?
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Cameroon looks like a chicken with a huge badonkadonk.
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Pakistan looks like a duck.
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(scoff) Don't be silly.
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Mexico?