I am the beginning of sorrow and the end of sickness. You cannot express happiness without me yet I am in the midst of crosses. I am always in risk yet never in danger. You may find me in the sun, but I am never out of darkness.
The letter S
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, because he is a little Bigger.
In a year, there are 12 months. Seven months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
They all do.
Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?
Fire
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge!
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but nine die. How many are left?
Nine
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest. It was still the highest in the world. It just had not been discovered yet!
I am the first in Earth, the second in Heaven. I appear two times in a week, and I am in the middle of the sea. What am I?
The letter E.
Imagine that you are in a boat, in the middle of the sea. Suddenly, you are surrounded by hungry sharks, just waiting to feed on you. How can you put an end to this?
Stop imagining!
Jimmy’s mother had four children. She named the first Monday. She named the second Tuesday, and she named the third Wednesday. What is the name of the fourth child?
Jimmy, because Jimmy’s mother had four children!
I do not have any special powers, but I can predict the score of any football game before it begins. How can I do this?
Well, the score before any football game is always zero to zero.
Which is heavier? A kilogram of feathers or a kilogram of rocks?
Neither. Both weigh a kilogram!
Mike is a butcher. He is 5’10” tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?
Your breath!
Which travels faster? Hot or Cold?
Hot is faster, because you can catch a cold.
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?
You do not bury the SURVIVORS!
A man is looking at a photograph of someone. His friend asks who it is. The man replies, “Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s son.” Who was in the photograph?
His son.