Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, when I have flown. What am I?
Time
A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
What kind of band does not play music?
A rubber band
Many teeth, no bite
A comb
Sara has four daughters, and each daughter has a brother. How many children does Sara have?
5, four daughters and one son
A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy saw no scale so he agreed and lost. How?
The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote "your exact weight" on the paper.
Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow.
What room do ghosts avoid?
The living room.
I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
Fire
What has six faces, but does not wear makeup, has twenty-one eyes, but cannot see? What is it?
A die (dice)
Two in a corner, one in a room, none in a house, but one in a shelter.
The letter "R"
No matter how much you use me, you change me every month.
A calender
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary
What is more useful when it is broken?
An egg
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Spelled forewards I am what you do every day, spelled backward I am something you hate.
Live / Evil
What can you hold in your right hand but never your left hand?
Your left hand
What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up?
An umbrella
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A mushroom
I am something people love or hate. I change peoples appearances and thoughts. If a person takes care of them self I will go up even higher. To some people I will fool them. To others I am a mystery. Some people might want to try and hide m
Age
You walk into a room that contains a match, kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. What would you light first?
The match
If your uncle's sister is not your aunt, who is she?
Your mother
How far can you walk into the woods?
Halfway - the other half you walk out
I make two people out of one. What am I?
A mirror
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