A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you are a mouse.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps
Re-arrange the letters, O O U S W T D N E J R to spell just one word.
'just one word'
How many seconds are there in one year?
12 of them:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?
Stop Imagining!
How many bananas can you eat if your stomach is empty?
Just one - after that, it's not empty anymore.
If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
You would be in 2nd. You thought first place, right? Well, you passed the guy in second place, not first.
What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A stamp
If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
How do you spell candy in 2 letters ?
c and y c(and)y
I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall. What am I?
A chick in an egg
You have three stoves: a gas stove, a wood stove, and a coal stove, but only one match. Which should you light first?
The match!
Samuel was out for a walk when it started to rain. He did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. His clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this happen?
This man is bald!
What has many keys, but can't even open a single door?
A piano
Two fathers and two sons went fishing one day. They were there the whole day and only caught 3 fish. One father said, that is enough for all of us, we will have one each. How can this be possible?
There was the father, his son, and his son's son. This equals 2 fathers and 2 sons for a total of 3!
You live in a one storey house made "entirely of redwood". What color would the stairs be?
What stairs? You live in a one storey house!
What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you?
Your name.
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