Why was the mama firefly unhappy? Because her kids weren't very bright.
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At an ATM, this lady asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle
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Why did the bycycle collapse? It was too tired
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What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lac-toes
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What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll
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When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...I was shocked!
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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
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Is your refrigerator running? Good, mine too! I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!
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Whiteboards....They are remarkable
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How do you stay warm in any room? Go to the corner - it is always 90 degrees.
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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dave.
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A man got hit in the head with a can of coke...but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
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What does December have that no other month does?
The letter D
Have you hear the rumor about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.
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A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno!......Dos!!!" The poof! He was gone without a tres.
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I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
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Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work
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