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What has three hands but only one face?
A clock
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney while working? (young/ smoke)
You are too young to smoke.
Why are dogs afraid to sunbathe?
They don't want to be hot-dogs.
Which can move faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch cold.
Who works only one day in a year but never gets fired?
Santa Clause
What has a head and a foot but no body?
a bed
Where can you always find money? (a wallet/ a bank/ a dictionary)
a dictionary
What is higher without a head than with a head?
a pillow
What is the longest word in the English language? (smile/ laugh/ dictionary)
Smiles, because there is a mile between the beginning and the end of it.
Who always drives his customers away?
A taxi-driver