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Valentines Day/Superbowl jokes
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What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
"I'm nuts about you!"
What do you write in a slug's Valentine's Day card?
"Be my Valen-slime!"
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
"I'm stuck on you!"
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Bea. Bea who?
Bea my Valentine!
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back!
How do football players stay cool?
By standing close to the fans.
Why are centipedes not allowed to play in the Superbowl?
It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Which Super Bowl player wears the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet!
Why did the football quit playing in the Super Bowl?
It was tired of being kicked around.
What dessert do they serve at the Super Bowl?
Sundays.
What did the raspberry say to his valentine?
I love you berry much.
What kind of candy is never on time?
Choco-LATE.
What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
I love you with all my art.
Knock Knock Who's there? Olive Olive who?
Olive you!
What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflowers!
Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!
What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
What do you call the world's smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A valen-teeny.


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