Error correction from WE | Baamboozle - Baamboozle

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1. The peril on the road is shown when there is a 'rocky outcrop', with its guttural alliteration affirming its ominous nature

when = through the phrase ; choice of phrase, need to be more explicit between link with alliteration and being ominous

2. The writer's hopes of finding gold being " swept away by the currrent" strengthens this connection even more, this time all but directly referring to the movement of the water in the river.

comma splice

3. The writer uses a lasting effect of mystery and danger by using vivid, visual imagery, metaphors and personification.

Too general and too vague

4. Perilous, menacing and life-threatening are words used to describe the road and its surroundings.

Overview statement: tautology and misleading wording (words used to describe)

5. The writer included the quote 'carcass of a vehicle' to prove that there has been such cases where people die fom falling off the cliff

Avoid word 'quote' / prove? / tense

6. The road and atmosphere is described as dangerous, eerie and lifeless.

is not are

7. This evokes an effect that the writer is suffering from poor physical condition

evoke a feeling/sensation/image....not an effect (create/has/gives an effect of)

8. The phrase " roars echoing" portrays the current of the river hitting against the rocks with great force.

Portrays something as something

9. In paragraph 3, the writer uses metaphors, imagery and personification whereas in paragraph 6 the writer uses imagery, indirect characterization and similes

Overview: way too general and obtuse / individual characterisation?

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