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Karla Jiménez no longer attends cooking duty
 
because she caused a fire
 
but she now brings dessert
 
explosive flan included
 
¡chef de guerra!
Brandon Hernández has already finished his checklist
 
so he left early
 
but he forgot the paper
 
and wrote it on his hand
 
¡todo se vale!
Sergio Guillen is still cleaning up mud
 
from this morning’s drill
 
but he’s rolling in it now
 
for fun
 
¡ni los cochinos!
Alfonso González hasn’t taken the test yet
 
so he’s freaking out
 
because he forgot his name
 
and drew memes instead
 
¡crack académico!
Abel González doesn’t wear that cap anymore
 
because it flew away
 
but he glued it on
 
with peanut butter
 
¡ingeniero nivel creativo!
Irvin García is still organizing his locker
 
because it exploded yesterday
 
but he's just hiding snacks
 
and a small cat
 
¡la tiendita!
Adrián Fernández already cleaned the windows
 
so he was excused early
 
but he licked one for fun
 
and got stuck
 
¡ni modo cristal!
Daniel Coronado hasn’t eaten lunch yet
 
so he’s hangry and wild
 
because he’s protesting silently
 
for better salsa
 
¡puro coraje!
Eduardo Calderón is still on uniform check
 
because he always fails it
 
but today he wore pajamas
 
with pink unicorns
 
¡fashion sin miedo!
David Alvarado no longer uses the old rifle
 
because it jammed twice
 
but he misses it
 
calls it Rosita
 
¡trauma militar!
Imanol Barrientos hasn’t found his locker yet
 
so he uses someone else's
 
because lockers are confusing
 
and he lives in the bathroom
 
¡ni GPS lo salva!
María Vázquez has already done her inventory
 
so she helped others
 
but forgot her own items
 
including her toothbrush
 
¡bien solidaria, pero distraída!
Yasser Toledo is still marching in place
 
because he misunderstood the command
 
even though drill ended
 
to summon rain
 
¡shaman nivel cadete!
Dylan Salas doesn’t mop the hallway anymore
 
because he broke 3 mops
 
but he sweeps with his boots
 
or his eyebrows
 
¡a lo cavernícola!
Gabriel Rodríguez already sang the anthem
 
so he’s free for now
 
but he changed the lyrics
 
with salsa moves
 
¡versión remix militar!
Edgar Rivera hasn’t done his report yet
 
so he can’t eat lunch
 
because he forgot how to write
 
he’s using emojis only
 
¡literal!
Erick Ramírez is still on watch duty
 
because the others fell asleep
 
but he thinks it’s optional
 
with binoculars made of carrots
 
¡alerta nivel conejo!
Cynthia Osuna no longer carries the first aid kit
 
because she lost it twice
 
but she carries snacks now
 
and a rubber chicken
 
¡gran mejora!
Alejandro Martínez still hasn’t shaved
 
so he got extra push-ups
 
because he lost his razor
 
with a butter knife
 
¡ay nanita!
Noé Luis doesn’t shine boots anymore
 
because he’s on patrol now
 
but he keeps the polish
 
in his sandwich
 
¡mil usos!
Isaac Jiménez already shouted the code
 
so the sergeant entered
 
but it was the wrong code
 
in Pokémon language
 
¡ya valiste!
Bryan Jimenez is still not in line
 
because he’s fixing his laces
 
even though the line is gone
 
with invisible boots
 
¡haciendo fila solo!
Brayan García no longer reports to Bravo squad
 
because he was reassigned
 
but he’s still in uniform
 
from a cereal box
 
¡lo mandaron de vacaciones!
Donaji García already cleaned the bathroom
 
so she went to the drill
 
but forgot her toothbrush
 
while singing reggaetón
 
¡qué multitasking!
Irving Cruz hasn’t gotten his schedule yet
 
so he’s wandering cluelessly
 
because he burned it
 
on a floating piñata
 
¡perdido como siempre!
Dariant Cervantes is still fixing his bunk
 
since morning training ended
 
but he forgot the screws
 
using tortillas as nails
 
¡manitas mágicas!
Gerzon Cazares is no longer on kitchen duty
 
because he almost burned rice
 
but he became head chef
 
with a spoon as weapon
 
¡lo jubilaron por seguridad!
Víctor Bello hasn’t eaten yet
 
so he’s super cranky
 
because he’s fasting voluntarily
 
with a churro in his sock
 
¡ya se puso de malas!
Imanol Barrientos is still practicing drills
 
because he failed yesterday
 
although he’s actually asleep
 
with glitter on his face
 
¡brilla pero no obedece!
Octavio Balderas has already packed his gear
 
so he can rest
 
but he forgot his pants
 
with a taco in each boot
 
¡y nadie se dio cuenta!
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