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What two days of the week start with the letter T besides Tuesday and Thursday?
Today and tomorrow
How do porcupines kiss each other?
Very carefully
What says "oom" and gives milk?
A cow walking backwards
How many seconds are there in a year?
12. January second, February second, March second, April second, ...
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the party?
Because it had no body to go with
What did the waiter say when a ghost ordered a whisky?
Sorry, but we don't serve Cane Spirit
What kind of robbery is the easiest?
A safe robbery
What time is it when an elephant sits on a bench?
It's time to fix it.
Which is the fastest: heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch cold.
The answer I give is yes, but what I mean is no. What was the question?
Do you mind?
What's the longest word in the English language?
SMILES, because there's a mile between the first letter and the last (S-MILE-S)
What goes up when the rain comes down?
The umbrella
What does December have that no other month has?
The letter D
What animal is best at Math?
Rabbits, because they multiply very fast.
How many months of the year have 28 days?
All of them.


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