How many months of the year have 28 days?
All of them.
What animal is best at Math?
Rabbits, because they multiply very fast.
What does December have that no other month has?
The letter D
What goes up when the rain comes down?
The umbrella
What's the longest word in the English language?
SMILES, because there's a mile between the first letter and the last (S-MILE-S)
The answer I give is yes, but what I mean is no. What was the question?
Do you mind?
Which is the fastest: heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch cold.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a bench?
It's time to fix it.
What kind of robbery is the easiest?
A safe robbery
What did the waiter say when a ghost ordered a whisky?
Sorry, but we don't serve Cane Spirit
Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the party?
Because it had no body to go with
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
How many seconds are there in a year?
12. January second, February second, March second, April second, ...
What says "oom" and gives milk?
A cow walking backwards
How do porcupines kiss each other?
Very carefully
What two days of the week start with the letter T besides Tuesday and Thursday?
Today and tomorrow
