What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
What does a house wear?
Address
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back for seconds.
What vegetable is kind to everyone?
A sweet potato
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
What is the most musical bone?
A trombone
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
They have the best batter.
How can you tell it's a dogwood tree?
By the bark
What did the duck say when she bought new lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho cheese
How do celebrities say cool?
They have many fans.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What was the reported doing at the ice cream shop?
Getting the scoop
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other?
Cool Ranch
What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback
Why are spiders so smart?
They can find everything on the web.
Why couldn't the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers.