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Dad Jokes 2

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  • How do you organize a space party?
    You planet.
  • How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together.
  • What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
    Sofishticated.
  • Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
    Because it felt crummy.
  • Why did the math book look sad?
    It had too many problems.
  • What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
    Sneakers.
  • Why did the student eat his homework?
    Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  • Why did the tomato blush?
    Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    They’d crack each other up.
  • What did one hat say to the other?: "You stay here..."
    I’ll go on ahead.
  • What did one wall say to the other?
    “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
  • Why was the music note arrested?
    It got in treble.
  • Why are skeletons so calm?
    Nothing gets under their skin.
  • Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
    Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
    Nothing, they just waved.
  • Why did the photo go to jail?
    It was framed.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over?
    It was two-tired.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    “Supplies!”
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
  • What did the traffic light say to the car?
    “Don’t look! I’m changing!”
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one.
  • Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot.
  • Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
    To go to high school.
  • What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
    A satisfactory.
  • Why can’t you trust atoms?
    They make up everything.
  • I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia; she whispered
    “They’re right behind you.”
  • How do you catch a school of fish?
    With bookworms.
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