Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why did the dad sell my vacuum cleaner?
It was just gathering dust!
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.