What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
Can February March?
No but April May.
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
What did the duck say when waiter gave him the check?
Put it on my bill
Why was six nervous?
Because seven eight nine.
Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant
Know any good rope jokes?
I'm a frayed knot.
Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was two-tired.
How can you tell when a cat is happy?
When it's feline fine.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
Barbecue
Why did the barber win the race?
Because it took a short cut.
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair?
Ceasers
What kinds of emotions do noses feel?
Nostalgia
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What did one potato say to the other?
I've got my fries on you.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
What kind of undies do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
Why are bananas so good?
They've got appeal.