Know any good rope jokes?
I'm a frayed knot.
What did one potato say to the other?
I've got my fries on you.
What kinds of emotions do noses feel?
Nostalgia
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
Can February March?
No but April May.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted.
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair?
Ceasers
How can you tell when a cat is happy?
When it's feline fine.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant
What kind of undies do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
Why was six nervous?
Because seven eight nine.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
Barbecue
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What did the duck say when waiter gave him the check?
Put it on my bill
Why are bananas so good?
They've got appeal.
Why did the barber win the race?
Because it took a short cut.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was two-tired.