What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair?
Ceasers
What did the duck say when waiter gave him the check?
Put it on my bill
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted.
Know any good rope jokes?
I'm a frayed knot.
What kind of undies do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
Can February March?
No but April May.
What did one potato say to the other?
I've got my fries on you.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant
What kinds of emotions do noses feel?
Nostalgia
Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was two-tired.
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
Barbecue
Why are bananas so good?
They've got appeal.
Why was six nervous?
Because seven eight nine.
Why did the barber win the race?
Because it took a short cut.
How can you tell when a cat is happy?
When it's feline fine.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!