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Animal Jokes

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  • Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
    Of course. Buildings can’t jump, silly!
  • What does a spider wear to get married?
    A webbing dress!
  • Why are snakes difficult to fool?
    You can’t pull their leg!
  • How does a mouse feel after a bath?
    Squeaky clean!
  • Why do hummingbirds hum?
    Because they don’t know the words!
  • What do you call a famous fish?
    A star fish!
  • What is black and white and eats like a horse?
    A zebra!
  • What goes “ooo ooo oo”?
    A cow with no lips!
  • What do you call an elephant that never washes?
    A smellyphant!
  • What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
    You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tun-a fish!
  • What's a frog's favorite soda?
    Croak-a-Cola!
  • What’s a cheetah’s favorite meal?
    Fast food!
  • Why do birds fly south in the winter?
    Because it's too far to walk!
  • What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
    Lost!
  • Why don’t they play poker in the zoo?
    Because there are too many cheetahs!
  • What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
    An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood!
  • What do polar bears eat for lunch?
    Ice berg-ers!
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