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Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
How do cows stay up to date with current events?
They read the moos-paper.
Why did the computer go to art school?
It wanted to improve its sketch-up skills.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together
Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?
Because he was a fungui.
Why did the calendar go to therapy?
Its days were numbered
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice.
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints
Why did the lettuce win the race?
Because it was a-head
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well.
