"Mommy, does God use our bathroom?" "No, darling, why do you ask?" "Well, every morning Daddy ____ on the bathroom door and shouts, "Oh, ____, are you still in there?
bangs (knocks) / God
"Why are you _____ yourself, Mary?" "Because nobody else knows where I itch."
scratching
A little boy saw a grass snake for the first time: "Mother," he cried, "here is a ____ without a _____.
tail / body
Bobby: "Dad, I'm too tired to do my homework. Dad: "Now, my boy, hard work never ____ anyone yet." Bobby: "Well, I don't want to run the risk of being the ____.
killed / first
Teacher: "Sidney, can you tell me how fast light _____?" Sidney: "I don't know, but it always gets here too ____ in the morning."
travels / early
Little Bernie was taking his new dog for a walk when a police man stopped him. "Has your dog got a ____?" "Oh, no," answered Bernie. "He's not old enough to ____."
license / drive
I was so surprised at my ____. I couldn't _____ for a year and a half.
birth / speak
Teacher: "Bobby, can you name the four ____?" Bobby: Salt, _____, vinegar and _____."
seasons / pepper / mustard
Peter: "My teacher was mad because I didn't know where the _____ were." Mother: Well, dear, next time ______ where you put things.
pyramids / remember
Teacher: "Now, Jackie, what is the highest form of animal life?" Jackie: " I think it's the _____."
giraffe
Salesman: "Little boy, is your mother home?" Willie: "Yes, sir." (After knocking and knocking with no reply) Salesman: "I thought you said your mother was home." Willie: "She is, but we ____ ____ ____."
don't live here
Harry: "Have you read the Bible?" Sally: "No, I'm waiting for the ____."
film
Father: "Don't go into the water right after lunch, It's dangerous to swim on a full _____." Son: "That's all right, Dad. I'll swim on my ___."
stomach / back
Dan: "When I grow up, I'm going to be a policeman to follow in my father's ____." Stan: "I didn't know your father was a policeman." Dan: "He's not. He's a ___."
footprints / burglar
Grandma: "I like to go to bed and wake up with the chickens, don't you?" Betty: No, I like to sleep in ____ ____ ____."
my own bed
Teacher: "Now can somebody tell me where elephants are _______?" Mary: "Well, elephants are so big they are hardly ever ______."
found / lost
