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When I’m ripe, I’m green, when you eat me, I’m red, and when you spit me out, I’m black. What am I?
A watermelon
How many eggs would a rooster lay over three weeks, provided it is adequately fed and housed?
Zero. Roosters do not lay eggs.
What do you call a cat who loves to swim?
A catfish
I’m a bird, a person, and a fruit. What am I?
A Kiwi
You cut me, slice me, dice me, and all the while, you cry. What am I?
An onion
What begins with T, finishes with T, and has T in it?
A teapot
Why did the candle fall in love?
He met the perfect match.
If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 8 in the other, what would I have?
Very big hands.
If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what is 4 and 5?
Nine.
Why did the man pour veggies all over the world?
He wanted peas on Earth.
What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble
How can you make the number one disappear?
Add the letter ‘G’. It becomes ‘gone’.
What question can you never say ‘yes’ to?
"Are you asleep?"
If an electric train is travelling south which way is the smoke going?
Electric trains don’t produce smoke.
What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
What is the worst vegetable to have on a boat?
A leek
What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella
What goes up and down the stairs without moving?
A carpet