MISTAKES IN AN EBAU WRITING | Baamboozle - Baamboozle

For me, it's crucial to make differences between celebrities (singers, models, football players, etc...)

AS FAR AS I CAN SEE, IT IS crucial to make differences AMONG celebrities SUCH AS singers, models, football players, ETC.

Can we start an OPINION ESSAY, saying IN MY OPINION / I THINK/ FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, etc???

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

On the other hand, we have people who do all the things for society and they don't cares the money

On the other hand, THERE ARE people who do THINGS for society and they don't CARE ABOUT money

For me is interesting see the live of celebrities because they have another type of live.

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IT is interesting TO see the liFe of celebrities because/SINCE/DUE TO THE FACT they have another type of liFe.

You can admire a celebrity because your aim in a future is be like he or she.

You can admire CELEBRITIES because your aim in THE future is TO be like THEM

By try and fail, their dream have became true.

By tryING and failING, their dream have BECOME true

Admire a celebrity it's not bad but...

ADMIRING a celebrity IS not TERRIBLE / AN AWFUL ISSUE / A NEGATIVE ACT but...

This people work for give us an distraction and too this people help other people with all that they have

THESE people work TO give us A distraction and, IN ADDITION TO THIS, THEY help other people with EVERYTHING they have

There are famous people that only are famous because are rich or her family are famous.

There are famous people that are famous ONLY because THEY are rich or BECAUSE THEIR family IS famous.

We admire some famous people or we are gelous of their lifes

We admire some famous people or we are Jelous of their liVes

To have people always talking about you, judging you, pointing you, is harder than it looks.

HAVING people always talking about you, judging you, pointing AT you, is harder than it MAY SEEM.

Why humanity admire this kind of popular heroes?

Why DOES humanity admire this kind of popular people?

We can't pretend childrens or teenagers to know some historical heroes

We CANNOT EXPECT CHILDREN or teenagers to know ABOUT some historical heroes

The news are always publishing about the celebrities

THE MEDIA IS always publishing about CELEBRITIES ON THE NEWS

Everyone want to be a celebrity

Everyone wantS to be a celebrity

With the pass of the years, new profiles of famous people have emerged.

OVER the years, new profiles of famous people have emerged.

Moreover, there is people who find their work inspirational. In this way, they follow their advice.

Moreover, there ARE people who find their work inspirational. THEREFORE, they follow their advice.

That is why people knows a lot of things about the celebrities

That is why people KNOW a lot of things about CELEBRITIES

On one hand, I think is important to have someone to admire

On THE one hand, I think IT is important to have someone to admire

As I see it, the majority of people want to be like celebrities

As I see it, MOST of people want to be like celebrities

Currently in the world are a lot of type of celebrities, singers, football players...

Currently THERE are a lot of typeS of celebrities, SUCH AS, singers, football players AND SO ON / SO FORTH (,ETC)

The first reason we admire famous people it's because of their amount of money.

The first reason we admire famous people IS because of their amount of money.

Famous people are icons who make a contribuition to the society

Famous people are icons who make a CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY

We use our phones to call people that we appreciate, check on our school work, have some breaks...

We use our phones to call people that we appreciate, check on our school work, have some breaks AND SO ON / AND SO FORTH / (,ETC.)