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Covid-19 Humor Dad Jokes
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Why would it be a shame for all of the coronavirus patients to be stuck at the airport trying to get home?
It would cause a terminal illness.
Do you (a) quarantine with your wife and child, or (b)— ?
B. Definitively.
Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story….
Do you know what they’re saying about 2020?
It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
A glass of wine in each hand.
What happens when nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed?
It’s about to get ugly out there.
What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke?
Be patient.
What happens if Finland closes its borders?
You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
What did the man say to the bartender?
I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.
Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke?
It flu over his head.
Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
The dock!
Why did my mom always tell me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day?
Because look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine?
Inside jokes!
Did you hear the joke about the germ?
Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033?
There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
What happen if I tell you a coronavirus joke now?
You’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
Why are there so many coronavirus jokes out there?
It’s a pundemic.
What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever?
Self, I so late.
Why do the grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them.
All that’s left is de brie.
Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
They’re in bad taste.
You know who buys up all the toilet paper?
A**holes.
What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?
The wurst-kase scenario.
What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?
One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.


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