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the only reason to buy bread
Nutella
you’d give them a kidney, but wouldn’t allow them to use your charger
sibling/brother/sister
a rare form of intelligence
common sense
a stupid person who stubbornly ignores the distancing protocol
covidiot
a silent scream for coffee
yawn
the 3-month break between a woman and her razor
winter
state when you hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the Earth
drunkenness
the annoying time in between sleep and Internet
reality
the only member of a family that listens to you
dog
what you do when there is nothing else to do
eat(ing)
tiny creatures hiding in every bite or sip you take
calories
an idle chat
chinwag
law firm for effective divorce of socks
washing machine
what happens to mom after having counted to 3
momster
something we all have, but most don’t use
brain
learning a person’s routine to avoid them
antistalking
too tired to give a shit
exhaustipated
a hand gesture used by a midget to say hello
microwave
screwing up several things at once
multi-tasking
an optimist with real world experience
pessimist
a woman so special that you’re willing to tolerate her for the rest of your life
wife
a man so special that you’re willing to tolerate him for the rest of your life
husband
the main reason you are not a vegetarian
bacon/steak
a place where parents pay and children play
school/kindergarten
someone who is fed up with people
cannibal
a person who helps you solve problems you’d never have without them
teacher
a combination of haze and smoke
smaze
to kiss and cuddle
canoodle
one of the many strangers on Facebook
friend
the act of eating, sleeping, and texting with an open textbook nearby
study
the sound of a nut sneezing
cashew
the brain’s natural defense against idiots
sarcasm
someone who reveres authority
lickspittle/ brown-noser/kiss-up
spam sent over instant message
spim
unproductive conversation or long dispute between people from different worldviews or cultures
palaver
one million deaths, usually in nuclear warfare
megadeath
someone who never laughs
agelast
a piece of hardware that connects a computer to another device
dongle
A word used instead of one you cannot spell
synonym
Someone who eats, sleeps, cries, and poops all day
baby
Someone who works for all without any payment
mother
Where 99% of human productivity, motivation, and achievements are stored
tomorrow
A curve that sets everything straight
smile
End of thinking capacity
etc.
person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite
askhole
A fancy word used for unachievable goals
dreams
Putting up with someone else’s bull shit for a long time
relationship
Drawing trees on paper
irony
Someone who watches scary movies for fun and sleeps fine afterwards
psychopath
A warm aromatic alternative to hating everyone each morning
coffee
A bunch of weird people you’re surrounded by since birth
family
The only thing that you can buy that makes you richer
travel
Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else’s accomplishment
clapping
A device used to find legos in the dark
feet
The first step towards disappointment
hope