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What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
Barbecue
What kinds of emotions do noses feel?
Nostalgia
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted.
Can February March?
No but April May.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
Why did the barber win the race?
Because it took a short cut.
What kind of undies do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair?
Ceasers
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
Know any good rope jokes?
I'm a frayed knot.
Why was six nervous?
Because seven eight nine.
Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was two-tired.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What did one potato say to the other?
I've got my fries on you.
Why are bananas so good?
They've got appeal.
How can you tell when a cat is happy?
When it's feline fine.
What did the duck say when waiter gave him the check?
Put it on my bill