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What do you call a witch at the beach?
A sandwich
What has hands but can not clap?
A clock
What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A palm tree
If an electric train is traveling south, which way is the smoke going?
There isn't any smoke, it’s an electric train.
What room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
How many months have 28 days?
All of them.
What is always coming but never arrives?
Tomorrow
What can you hear but not touch or see?
Your voice
What is the center of gravity?
The letter 'v'
What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
Who can shave 20 times a day but still have a beard?
A barber
What kind of rocks are at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean?
Wet rocks
The capital of France is P___s. Can you spell it?
"i t"
Take away my skin and I will not cry, but you will. What am I?
An onion
What doesn't get wetter, no matter how much rain falls on it?
Water
I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle
Why are football stadiums cold?
Because there is a fan in every seat.
What starts with ‘p’ and ends with ‘e’ and has over 1000 letters?
A post office
What starts with ‘e’, ends with ‘e’ and has one letter?
Envelope
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
The more you have of me, the less you can see. What am I?
The dark.
What are two things people never eat before breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days and leaves on Thursday. How did he do it? 
His horse’s name is Friday.
When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you do not have me. What am I?
A secret