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What starts with a P, ends with an E and has thousands of letters ?
The post office.
How many months of the year have 28 days?
All of them, all the months have at least 28 days!
If there are 12 fish and half of them drown, how many are there?
12, fish don’t drown!
An electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph. Which way does the smoke blow?
There is no smoke with an electric train
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once, next time you'd be subtracting 10 from 90
Which table doesn't have legs?
vegetable
Forwards I am heavy. Backwards I am not. What am I?
ton
I make two people out of one. What am I?
A mirror
I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
Fire
Re-arrange the letters, O O U S W T D N E J R, to spell just one word. What is it?
'Just one word'.
What is in the middle of the sky?
'The letter K'
What 4-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?
'NOON'
What building has the most stories?
A library
What has a thumb and four fingers but is not a hand?
a glove
What can fill up a room but takes no space?
light
Which is heavier - a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
Neither - both weigh a ton
What word contains 26 letters, but only has three syllables?
Alphabet
You’ll find me in Mercury, Earth, Mars and Jupiter, but not in Venus or Neptune. What am I?
The letter 'R'
What 2 things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
If you look at the numbers on my face you won't find thirteen anyplace.
A clock.
Mary has four daughters, and each of her daughters has a brother — how many children does Mary have?
Five, each daughter has the same brother.
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Shorter. (Short + ‘er’)
Where can you find cities, towns, shops, and streets but no people?
A map.
What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it?
Silence
It belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do. What is it?
Your name
What goes up and down but doesn’t move?
A staircase
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Your right elbow
What has many keys but can’t open a single lock?
A piano
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
David
The more of this there is, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness
What gets wet while drying?
A towel
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
The future
What is full of holes but still holds water?
A sponge
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg