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A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?
Because he was not driving! He’s walking on the sidewalk.
What is always coming but never arrives?
Tomorrow
What never asks a question but gets answered all the time?
the phone
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal, because people usually have half their fingers on one hand.
What goes up but never ever comes down?
your age
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors aren’t buried!
How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
She sleeps at nights
A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?
His horse is named Friday
What goes up and down, but always remains in the same place?
Stairs
What will you actually find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter "w"
Uncle Bill’s farm had a terrible storm and all but seven sheep were killed. How many sheep are still alive?
seven
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
A widow
What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The four you took
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add a ‘G’ and it’s gone!
A woman pushes her car to a hotel and then proceeds to tell the owner that she is bankrupt. Why?
She is playing Monopoly.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. Next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain on Earth?
Mount Everest
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